From a feminine point of view.
Until around my 18 years old, I was barely 40kg.
My teachers convoked my parents to know if I was anorexic .. And when you’re not, it’s very difficult to realize that the body you have does not fit the “casualty”. Reflections of my male comrades were like : “we keep the head and we throw the body”, “spaghetti” skeleton, and many others. During middle school, I did not even want to go to class anymore. Every morning, facing the mirror was a psychological torture. I dressed with kids cloth and put two pairs of tights under my jeans to make sure it doesn’t look too big on me.
Younger, I did not question myself. Then, all of a sudden, everyone was pointing the finger at me .. So here I am, joining the big family of the « complexed ones ». Come on, this is free of charge. Let’s become a woman now.
To my great despair, in our society, it is unbearable to feel “out of ordinary zone”. Either thin, strong, without boobs, with generous forms, small, tall, with a bigger nose, a funny skin .. Everything is open to judgment. I speak from a feminine point of view, even if I know that complexes also happen to men. But let’s be realistic, women take a lot in their faces.
They do not do it all the time on purpose, but the opinion of men can complex us. For many reasons, which have been here from time immemorial, men believe they are superior. Years after years, everything is naturally put into place to make us understand that we are here to satisfy their desires. On their conditions.
We are mammals and we must reproduce. Therefore, you have to find a male.
Until then, it’s cool as a project.
But suddenly, unconsciously and scientifically, if we spend all our time trying to « fit », it’s to be attractive. This desire to be attractive is quite natural. What is less so is that men have come to believe that a woman must have specific proportions to be attractive.
If a man thinks about your physique, do not waste your time answering him. And I beg you, let his reflection slide on your beautiful body! If he allows himself to judge you, it means that he still has a long way to go and you will not waste your time waiting for him to grow up. I know that young men have grown up with porn where women are objects with Barbie bodies. Somehow, they will be victims of their generation. But that’s not an excuse.
Gentlemen, you do not have the monopole of judgment. Girls are very, very strong to judge one another. They are even worse! Ladies, a little support please ! If in addition to the guys attitude, we shoot in the each others legs, we will never get away from it. I’m sure that, if we started by sticking to one another we could change a lot of things. Who decided to launch this horrible competition? Which one will be the most attractive ? For who ? Ahh, gentlemen, you are back. Ahah never far away. My god, what a vicious circle.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFULL
Your body is your best friend. You must love it so that someone else can love it in return. Towards the end of middle school, I do not know how it happened, but I made the decision to assume. I went to school in dress. Since then, the look on people’s eyes have changed and so have their thoughts. What you release is the most important. Your personality, your qualities, your talents, everything that is not “your physic ».
No matter how old you are, look in a mirror and tell yourself that you are the best, the most beautiful! If you do not believe it at first, let your unconscious do the work. Do not compare yourself any more and if you happen to do it by accident, tell yourself that the girl you’re looking at is probably also judging. Know that the biggest top models are the most complex chicks because they must permanently keep this so called « dream body ». Personally, I don’t feel like it.
You may want a more athletic body, a more voluminous .. and making sure to look like it. But you have to do it for yourself. Never for someone else. If you love yourself as you are and that your health is not in danger, be proud of what you see in the mirror! And find the person who will also love this reflection.
You are free to change it all. To accept who you are and make a deal with yourself. It is important that you are well in your shoes to move forward in life. It will take a certain time but it is worth it. And be lenient with other girls who are probably not feeling great in their skins either.
If you have Netflix, I recommend you two movies and a documentary :
Do not be too harsh with yourself if it does not come within a week.
Acceptance is the key to everything.